12 STEPTS

12 STEPS

1

We were one grain of sand among many
piece of a by far greater fortress
coming to see I was now something apart
one small heart with little hope left
admitting each beach changes each day
towing me down under depressed delusions

2

No longer aware of a once faded greatness
lost, helpless, drowning, but still a small grain
franticly searching finding nowhere to attach
driven by some yet unknown force of spirit
screaming silently in despair help me, help me now
for a second time I land on an Isle of sanity

3.

As I sit in release with a new found friend
have we had enough of this self indulged destruction
alone I walked a life filled in shadowed shame
hands sinking in my now unblemished beach
ready to begin again building a new place to be
from small grains, framed in newly gained ideas

4

Looking at old pictures of that once great fortress
I notice the weathered window frames and broken glass
Some soiled and wrinkled bed sheets scattered on dirty floors
Loose door hinges rusty and ignored, an un swept front yard
Somehow this once great home has been neglected
And yet carefully hidden are some small polished toys

5

Looking again at this old house each shingle a memory
I remember the storm, of ‘98 that uprooted tree truck
How can I ever remove it’s bulk unaided, I think if a friend
I once had would still be willing to talk as we work together
To see all the fear I held so dear that never appear too close
Could you help me to remove this mask that hides the true me

6

With one hand sinking in the sand the other struggles
to hide my tears I now ask for strength to somehow
surrender my shortcomings to get into this home again
the deleterious memories of an unhappy man
False comforts, lazy ways and lost dream of childhood
Help me fix, clean or walk away from dependency